Gone 'Proofing

Baby proofing...I used to think it was as simple as installing outlet covers and gates by the stairs. When I heard about people inviting baby proofing experts into their homes for consultations, I thought, That's ridiculous! I was never really prepared for the entire home reorganization that a very curious baby would require.

Babyproofing, I had heard, occurs in stages.

Stage 0
In the beginning, there were the apologies. I somehow (very mistakenly) thought I needed to baby proof before our child was born. Friends with older babies would drop by and I was embarrassed that the house was not safe. We just haven't had time to babyproof yet, I'd explain, while holding my belly or the helpless little baby who couldn't even roll over, let alone wreak havoc on the paper recycling.

Stage 1
And then there were the beginning stages of mobility. Sitting up, rolling over, and a slow but steady army crawl. The outlet covers went on, and Jamie and I sat around at night discussing our poor choice in coffee table. We put off Stage 2 as long as possible, but there comes a point when the effort it takes to keep a baby out of trouble is far greater than the effort it takes to move to Stage 2.



Stage 2
The army crawl grew faster, and Luke suddenly became very interested in the living room vents, a tree, and...the stairs. We discussed ways to block off these entities, but the better solution was to relocate the curious child. We moved our bedroom to the guest room, got rid the guest room (Sorry, guests!), and turned our bedroom into a playroom, aka "padded cell."



Luke loved the padded cell. There was a time when the padded cell was enough, and that time was glorious. Imagine a day where you chill in the padded cell room with your kid, who's happy and safe, and you can just hang out and check facebook and read US Weekly. See, that's the thing. It was about a day.



Soon the padded cell wasn't enough. Luke wanted more. He saw the hallway and the kitchen and sometimes even the cat, and he wanted it all. I felt like a really lousy parent when Luke whined at his gate. How could I not encourage my little explorer?



Stage 3
More gates go up, latches go up in the kitchen (although one cabinet stays open for exploration), and we buy a lightweight vacuum so I can constantly clean the floor. (Kid won't eat vegetables as a finger food, but he'll eat dirt, cat hair, and tiny pieces of cardboard?). Today I had to move the garbage can and paper recycling out of the kitchen because he was all into that. (Although I turned that space into a really cute reading nook--HGTV here I come!)

Before:


After:


The point is, Babyproofing is nothing like I expected. It takes a lot of brainpower to stay one step behind my little fella. That's right, behind. If I wanted to stay ahead, I would have hired those experts.